Only For Telling

Comedy film where a man tells his family various white lies to explain how he got his black eye.

Camera pans over a street and a car drives around the corner. The driver gets out of the car and opens the door to allow a woman to get out. She walks past the camera holding a bucket and walks up the steps leading to a house. Close up of the woman cleaning the steps. A mother, daughter and a vicar sit around a table eating dinner. Close ups of people eating. A man walks up the steps and goes through the front door. He hangs his coat on the hook and turns around to reveal his black eye. His wife greets him and asks how he got the bruise. The film flashes back in time to a shot of him walking down an alley and witnessing a mugger stealing a woman’s bag. He then chases the mugger down the street. They run down the stairs and the mugger runs away after giving the man a black eye. The film flashes forward to the father picking up his little girl and telling her a story about a knight and a damsel in distress to explain his black eye. The damsel throws the knight a red rose and he fights with a man dressed in armour. The knight lifts up his helmet to reveal that the knight is actually himself. Her mother, the damsel, cheers the knight on. The knight wins the fight. He walks over to the damsel but is unable to lift his helmet off his head. Flashes forward to some men trying to get the helmet off. The father points at his black eye. The vicar reads a story to the little girl. The father goes over and shakes his hand and the vicar asks how he got the black eye. Flashback to a shot of people singing hymns in a church. They pass around a donation collection and each person puts money into it. Close up of a man in a moustache stealing money out of it while the father sees. People leave the church and the father runs after him and demands the money he stole. The money falls onto the floor and another man grabs it and puts it in his pocket. They look over to the movie director sitting beneath the sign for FOURFOLD FILMS who shouts instructions at them. He storms over to the thief and they start arguing. Shot of the camera man. One of the camera crew runs over to a custard pies van and accidentally throws a pie at the director’s face instead of the other man. The director throws a custard pie and it lands on the camera man’s head. He throws another pie and it lands on another man’s head which he covers with his hat. In a sequence speeded up in the style of silent film comedies, the crew run around covered in pies. The crew throw pies at the director who is tied to a pole with ‘Death to the director!’ written on the wall above him. Shot of a dog eating one of the pies. The director and the camera man take it in turns to throw pies at each other. The father throws a pie at the owner of the van and he throws part of a wooden sign at him which hits him in the eye. The vicar appears angry and storms out of the house. His wife tells her husband off and he walks away from her. She looks up at a portrait on the wall and is shocked to discover that a black eye has suddenly appeared on it. The father chases after the vicar and trips over the scrubber the woman had used to clean the stairs. He looks up at the camera to reveal he now has two black eyes.

Keywords

Black Eye; Comedy; Custard Pies; Family; Humour; IAC; Film making